his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
