I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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