Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
