I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Sorry about my life...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
