office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
