So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
