I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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