1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize