as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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