kristin has been a bad kristin
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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