My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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