Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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