ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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