so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I want her autograph on my taint
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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