Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize