4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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