I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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