She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
How does one acquire holy water?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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