Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
