She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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