"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
