hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize