how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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