it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
