I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
