you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
