He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
