I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
