Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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