Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I came so hard my ears popped.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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