the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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