it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
