Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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