at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
