You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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