i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
