Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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