..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
