so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
