His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
