we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
