My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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