Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Congratulations! We have a period
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
