The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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