A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
