So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
