So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize