I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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