Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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