Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
