I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
