Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize