At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
