can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
