Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
