I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
