czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
