she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
