Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
