do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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