Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
