so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
