Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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