Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
