You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
