There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
