haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
